Feel free to ignore this entire post. 

I’ve been having some seriously weird dreams lately.

• Monday night I had a dream that after the events of the last Sherlock episode, he’s now leaving with a police officer named Mary Watson, who likes to talk about superheroes. (Specially Spiderman, and tells everyone her name is Mary Jane Watson). Somehow her paths collide with John Watson and she use this to her advantage to get Sherlock out of her flat but saying stuff like, “Wouldn’t it be awesome to have a superhero power to like jump off buildings and never die?” And stuff like, “My roommate is a massive git. I hope he has poisoned my cat again. He gets bored quiet easily, and there isn’t enough crap telly on right now.” And there is Sherlock iphone backseating all her cases, and it’s basically this for what I am assuming is a whole episode, till at the end Sherlock finally reappears at 221B Baker street causing John to nearly have a heart attack, “Your not here. I’m imagining this.” Sherlock, as he is well, Sherlock, “Of course I’m here. I’m not a ghost. You know they don’t exist.”
  “I saw you die, Sherlock.”
  “You saw what I wanted you to see. ”
  “Why now? Why a year later?”
  “I need your computer.”
  Nothing really happened, really.

• The second dream is this weird New Zealand crime drama film with Alfie Enoch (Dean Thomas), and two of those girls who were in H20: Just Add Water (but they are only in it for like five minutes ). It’s about a girl named Maureen and Alfie (who is actually named Alfie in this dream, wow original I know) and he’s been like her best friend since they were little (and of course they are secretly in love with each other), and call each other Giraffe and Elephant ‘cause I don’t really know. I wasn’t allowed to know this backstory apparently. He gets her an elephant for her 18th birthday and since there is all this sexual tension she says, “I love it but do you know what I really want for my birthday?” [sex scene omitted, but implied]. Apparently he’s been working for some crime lord, and there is a lot of shooting and her parents get killed [I don’t remember all the action scenes that followed, but there was a car chase scene or something]. It ended with him in jail for ten years (‘cause he had gotten himself in to some serious trouble), and she’s telling him she’s moving to England with her brother to get away from it all. She picks up an adorable baby from the H20 girls. And it ends with a closeup of a giraffe tattoo on her chest. Credits. 

Don’t ask me. Ask my subconscious.